The seating plan: How to avoid guest carnage at your wedding

 
One of the most complex and time-consuming elements of wedding planning is undoubtedly trying to work out how to seat your guests to make sure they have a great time throughout the wedding breakfast and beyond. While this task may seem simple at first, the bride and groom-to-be can soon find themselves swamped in Post-it notes, floundering amidst a sea of political correctedness, familial feuding and confusion about where best to place your guests for the perfect day.

Modern families tend to be a mixture of divorced, arguing, or feuding factions, and with the best will in the world it can be difficult to know how best to sit your party to make sure there are no arguments and everyone feels comfortable.

Table planning, then, becomes ever more important. The modern bride and groom have to establish how to keep their guests happy, while maintaining a positive atmosphere, not offending anyone, and abiding by the tradition that is expected of them. This is no easy task, in a culture where relationships are forged and broken every day.

The tradition of the top table

The tradition of the top table is thought to stem from the courts of France. People were placed in order of importance, observing the hierarchy of the court which allocated seating depending upon wealth or familial seniority. This tradition has held through the years, resulting in the positioning we recognise today.

To observe modern etiquette fully, the top table should resemble something along these lines:

• Chief bridesmaid, Groom’s father, bride’s mother, groom, bride, bride’s father, groom’s mother, best man.

If the bride’s parents are divorced, the table should be laid out as follows:

• Bride’s stepfather, chief bridesmaid, groom’s father, bride’s mother, groom, bride, bride’s father, groom’s mother, best man, bride’s stepmother.

And for a groom’s divorced and re-married parents, try this:

• Best man, groom’s stepmother, groom’s father, bride’s mother, groom, bride, bride’s father, groom’s mother, groom’s stepfather, chief bridesmaid.

Bucking the trend

Despite the expectation to seat people traditionally, there is an argument for dispensing with etiquette altogether. After all, the bride and groom are the most important people on the big day, and remembering this can only help the seating arrangements. As long as they are together, happy, and surrounded with people who care about them, perhaps it is time to move with the times and select a seating plan that offers the best chance of happiness for the two people whose wedding has led to this day taking place.

Posted by Jonathan Grice on 25 August 2010 | 0 Comments

Tags: Wedding Top Table, Wedding Tips, Seating Plans, Fruition Wedding Photography, Top Table